Step 1: Getting to know yourself

the 'how-to' guide for achieving an orgasm with a vulva

Welcome to Cake's 3-step guide to better sex. We will walk you through 3 important steps: getting to know yourself, communication & consent, and trying something new in the bedroom. Complete each one of these steps before moving onto the next, and be sure to note what feels particularly good, and what doesn’t.

People with vaginas are uber lucky because they are able to experience three different kinds of orgasms. Now, we know it can sound intimidating to achieve three different orgasms when one can be a challenge in itself. That’s where we come in. We’re giving you the lowdown on how to get things going when you’re playing on your own.

The 3 types of Orgasms

the clitoral orgasm

The clitoris is the powerhouse of pleasure for people with vaginas. With approximately 8,000 nerve endings, it’s the only body part that exists solely to make you feel good. It feels like a little button or nub, usually right at the top of your vagina, where your labia meet.

Our tip to get the clit lit: While rubbing the nub is often buzzy enough, different types of movement can really put pleasure over the edge. Try tapping, pressing, flicking, or a circular motion, including in the area around the actual clitoris. 

the g-spot orgasm

Named after the German gynecologist who first documented it, the “Grafenberg” spot is located on the inner wall of the vagina. To find it, insert your finger two to three inches inside, then angle it towards your belly button and make the “come here” motion with your finger. It should feel slightly rougher, or perhaps a slightly different texture than the rest of your vagina. You may have to move around a bit to the right or left to find it, as everyone’s anatomy is different. And on that note, not everyone has one, so if you try and find you’re not feeling much, you’re not doing anything wrong. 

Our tip for good G: A sex toy with a curved tip may make it easier to find your spot. Use it doggy-style for extra-deep stimulation. 

the cervical orgasm

The cervix is the entrance to the uterus, shaped sort of like the neck of a vase. It’s stimulated by really deep penetration—and we mean really deep. Stimulating the ectocervix (the outer portion) can feel amazing for some people, while others find it uncomfortable. Note that where you are in your menstrual cycle changes the position of your cervix, so this type of touch may feel better at different times of the month. 

Our tip for cervix bliss: Really get in there with penetration—toys that are designed to mimic penises are best for this. Squat, sit, or try putting your legs in the air to maximize cervical stimulation. 

explore related products

organic aloe

★★★★★

organic, pH-balanced water and aloe lubricant for vaginal play

$14.00

toy wonder

★★★★★

a non-drip hybrid jelly for toy play

$12.00

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