This challenge is all about having sex…without orgasm.

Yup! Wait…isn’t orgasm the whole point? Well, it doesn’t have to be. It sounds weird, but sex without O can actually be a game-changer for your sex life. It’s all about giving each other pleasure, rather than fixating on one moment of payoff.

Ever find yourself focusing solely on orgasms during sex? You know, that inner monologue of “When are I am going to get there? When is he/she/they going to get there? Is it taking too long?” It’s so common—there’s no shame in it. But all this pressure on the big O takes you out of the moment. Focusing solely on orgasm changes how you both give and receive pleasure.

So take orgasm off the table and just focus on making each other feel good. When you remove the pressure of orgasms from the equation, you and your partner can both give each other pleasure, learn more about each other’s bodies, and increase your overall physical intimacy.

The Challenge:

  • Spend 10 – 25 minutes (agree on an exact timeframe before) that you spend making the other person feel good by using exercises 1 and 2. Do not orgasm. If it happens accidentally that’s a-okay, but it should not be the goal. Quite the opposite!
  • If you want to, after the sexytime is over let your partner know how good it felt and/or meaningful the intimacy and connection was. 😍

Tips for a successful challenge:

  • Talk about it with your partner before trying it out. How will you do this? Set some ground rules (like avoiding penetration or using only toys) and get excited, together.
  • Keep in mind it’s not about orgasm denial—it’s just about not making orgasm the main focus. If you do end up coming, great…but it’s not the ultimate goal. See the difference there?
  • After the challenge is complete, let your partner know what worked for you! Be specific about what you liked, even down to the location of the sex session, the feel of their skin, or something they said. See? It’s about so much more than coming.

Sex with no agenda can feel really, really good. You might even actually end up orgasming anyway. 😉  If you try this challenge, let us know how it goes.