So you're thinking about sliding into anal sex. Good for you! Giving the ol' tush push a go is a great way to pump some fun into your sex life.
The awesome thing about butt play is that all people can enjoy it. No matter your gender or sexual orientation, anyone can experience exciting new levels of arousal from backdoor fun, including orgasm!
If you're interested in anal sex preparation, but it makes you a little nervous, we definitely understand. With so much misinformation, stigma, and taboo swirling around out there, anal sex can sometimes seem like a gigantic mystery.
That's why we're here. Cake is a shame-free, guilt-free space for you to learn so you can get your groove on safely! Whether you're planning on giving or receiving -- or both! -- this guide is all about how to prepare for anal sex.
Check In With Yourself
Before getting intimate in a new way, take some time to get intimate with yourself. If you're thinking about trying anal for the first time, ask yourself: "Is this something I really want to do?" "Why do I want to do it?" and, "What do I hope to get from the experience?"
If you find yourself feeling anxious about how it might feel, possible messiness, or if any psychological stuff is coming up for you, take some time to think about it.
Positive, stigma-free sex advice and education are vital, so learn as much as you can to help you decide if butt sex is right for you. Because, hey, it's not for everyone -- and that's okay!
Check In With Your Partner
Say it with us -- consent is crucial. It's always important to talk to your partner before trying anything new to make sure you are on the same page.
If you feel pressured to try anal, don't be afraid to voice your concerns and pump those brakes. On the flip side, if they don't seem ready, give them the time and space they need to decide if anal is right for them.
And if you're bottoming, it's super necessary that you're comfortable with asking your partner to slow down, apply more lube, or stop. Consider implementing a safe word if that's something that sounds good.
How to Prepare for Anal Sex
If you're ready for your booty to become sexually active, let's go over some fast facts. Here are some important things to know about backdoor fun they probably didn't teach you in gym class.
- Anal orgasms are a thing -- and not just for those with prostates
- Your sphincter and rectum are elastic and return to original size after penetration
- Just like training a muscle, you can train your anus to stretch for anal sex
- Anal penetration sometimes feels like going poop because it stimulates a lot of the same muscles and nerves
- Going slow is super, duper important -- not just because it feels way better, but because it prevents pain and tearing
- You'll probably need more lube than you realize -- and the type of lube matters. Tush Cush is the best lube for anal newbies. It will add a plush airy layer of comfort during your play while soothing any possible microtears.
- Sometimes poop makes a surprise appearance during anal, so be careful to not spread bacteria
Now that we've covered the basics, keep reading to learn about how you can prepare for a butt sesh of your own.
Experiment By Yourself
Solo sex is a great way to learn about your body, what you like, what you don't like, and what you might be comfortable doing with someone else.
Did you know you can literally practice for anal sex? It's true! You can train your anal sphincter to gradually get used to stretching to larger sizes.
Using lots of lube (and we mean LOTS), start out by fingering your booty hole and slowly inserting your pinky to see how it feels. Go slow and take your time, moving up to larger fingers.
Once you get comfortable with anal fingering, consider introducing toys. Anal beads are great for beginners because they are small, and you can increase the size at your own pace. Start out with the smallest bead and slowly insert larger ones depending on your comfort level.
A small vibrating butt plug like Cake's Buzzy Butt can be a fun next step. It comes in three sizes so you can use whichever feels best for you.
Next, using a larger toy by yourself can help you prepare for a derriere dalliance with a person who has a penis. We're all about taking your sweet time and finding your comfort zone.
Choose Your Lube
When it comes to butt sex, lube is an essential worker. Lube isn't only about creating a much more pleasurable push, you need it for your health and safety too.
Anuses are not self-lubricating like vulvas, so you need a quality lube to prevent pain, injury, and tearing. Tearing can actually increase your chances of contracting an STI, so we can't stress the importance enough.
A silicone-based lube like Cake's Silicone Sex Lube is a great option because it feels slippery, rather than wet. This lube is long lasting and doesn't dry out so you don't have to keep reapplying. It also won't make condoms deteriorate.
On the other hand, silicone-based lube can damage silicone sex toys. Since many toys are made of silicone, it may be a good idea to have a water-silicone hybrid on hand like Cake's Tush Cush.
We recommend having a few lubes in your repertoire so you're ready to rock and roll when the time comes!
The Scoop on Poop
Sometimes number two makes an appearance during anal, and that's nothing to be embarrassed about. For some, it's a sexy kink.
But if you want to minimize the chances of a caca cameo, here are a few things you can do ahead of time to prepare.
- Go to the bathroom 30 to 60 minutes before sex
- Showering before will help you feel more clean and confident
- Use sexual hygiene wipes, like Sex Wipes if you want to a quick clean up
It's understandable if you're worried about doo crashing your steamy love sesh, but you might be surprised to learn it's less likely to be a problem than you think.
Quick anatomy lesson
Poop is stored in the sigmoid colon until it empties into the rectum -- usually once or twice a day.
In other words, poop is not stored in the anal canal so it's too high for any penis or dildo to reach. The chances of it coming out during backside play are pretty slim, especially if you've had a bowel movement that day.
Let's talk about enemas
Using an enema or anal douche isn't necessary for a clean tush, but they're an option if you want to be *extra* careful.
And please proceed with caution, alright? Risks associated with enemas include weakening intestine muscles and disrupting microflora in the gut.
An enema is basically inserting water up your butt into the large intestine to flush out the bowels. Enema kits are available at your local pharmacy and usually include a hot water bottle, a hose, a plug, and a rectal tip. Sometimes enema kits come with a laxative or saline solution, but you don't need it. Water is good enough.
Following the instructions on the kit, use the enema about an hour before hanky panky. Typically, you will sit over the toilet and insert the nozzle into your bum. Next, squeeze water from the water bottle and hold the water in for about 10 or 15 seconds, then release it into the toilet. Repeat this process until all the water runs clear.
Good sex = safe sex. It's always important to practice safe shagging, but with anal, there are a few extra sex tips and tricks to be aware of.
Watch out for Bacteria
There is always the possibility of trace amounts of fecal matter so remember to NEVER go from back to front. In other words, don't switch from butt to mouth, vagina, hands, or another partner without cleaning up in between.
Avoid Tearing and Injury
Going slow is important, not just for a feel-good time, but for your safety too. Your rectum is made of fine, delicate tissue. Even with lots of lube, it's important to penetrate slowly and carefully to prevent tearing.
Don't Forget Protection
There's a misconception floating around that there's no reason to use protection during anal because there's no risk for pregnancy.
Although pregnancy risk is very low, it's still a good idea to wrap it. That's because proper condom use will protect against most STIs that can be transmitted through anal sex.
As if you needed another reason, you technically can still get pregnant from anal sex. Although rare, if semen spills near the vulva or vagina, there's a chance those little spermies could get in and reach an egg.
Ready to go down to smash town? If you and your partner are ready to try anal sex for the first time, here are some tips to feel sexy, confident, and present during the act.
Begin With Foreplay
Stroll into sexy time in the usual ways that turn you on. Slow, passionate foreplay will get you warmed up and in the mood for new sexual territories. Deep kisses, touching each other's erogenous zones, or using toys are great ways to get the party started.
Try Starting With a Sexy Shower
Give yourselves enough time to begin your foray into anal with a steamy shower. This will not only be a huge turn-on, but it will also help you both feel clean and confident. Bring a waterproof vibrator into the shower with you to help you get hot and bothered while you soap each other up.
Try rimming, fingering, and using anal toys with your partner
Doing non-intercourse butt-centric activities together is a great way to introduce anal sex into the bedroom.
Rimming (oral-anal) is a nice way to perk up your b-hole for penetration. It can also help build a level of trust and intimacy knowing your partner has gotten acquainted with you down there.
If you find you don't want to go further than this step, that's perfectly cool. All of these are still anal sex so go ahead and get your freak on!
Try different positions
Positions that tend to be easier for beginners are doggy style, missionary, and spooning. Try these out and see what's the most fun for you and your partner.
Wanting something more adventurous? There are all kinds of orgasmic anal sex positions out there to try.
Focus on Your Other Pleasure Zones During Anal
While your partner is inside you (or vice versa), continue to play with other pleasure centers such as your clit, nipples, penis, or testicles to get the most out of the experience. Vibrating toys, fingering, or handjobs during anal intercourse will only add to your backside experience.
Are You Ready to Try Anal Sex?
Whether you are planning to try butt stuff alone or with a partner, we hope this guide on how to prepare for anal sex has helped you feel confident going forward.
Remember, the world of butt stuff is large and has many, many choices. Take your time, enjoy each step of the journey, and leave misconceptions about posterior play in the rearview.
A few of the products you may wish to use on your journey include wipes, different types of lube, condoms, anal beads, butt plugs, and larger toys like dildos.
You have come to right place for a wide array of products and even pre-assembled kits. Check out our selection of Backside Play products to help you slide into the wonderful world of anal sex!