step 3: try something new

how to have a threesome

Lesbian Wives Teach You: How to have a Threesome

We’ve been together for 14 years, married for 6 and enjoying threesomes together for 4! We are going to share 3 tips to help you and your partner find a third. Now this isn’t just for fellow gay friends, this applies to couples universally. But it is our story, so it’s coming at you from our POV.

Here it goes...

STEP 1:
set clear intentions from the very beginning

Ask... What are each of you looking to gain from inviting a third? Are you looking for the same thing? Are you looking for something that compliments your dynamic? Inviting a third can look different for each couple depending on what they are looking for. It could be a one night fling, or a more regular occurrence. For us, we are in a long-term committed relationship with each other. When we feel like it, we’ll invite a third woman (that we both agree upon) into the relationship to date and have fun with in the bedroom.

STEP 2:
setting it up

We suggest using a dating app and being up front with what you're looking for on there. Show pictures of both you and your partner. There are even apps made for opening up your relationship. Maybe you both already know someone or maybe you can meet someone together organically. Before you go home with the person, it's important to make sure the chemistry is there for all of you.

STEP 3:
moving forward with boundaries and consent

Sex is a big and fun part of it, but making sure boundaries have been set and made clear to each other and the third before anything sexy begins is vital. We always start by meeting up with the woman someplace outside of our apartment to get to know each other. It tends to be a lot less awkward than you’d think. It also becomes pretty clear if we’re all into it or not. However, it's important to get explicit consent. When we feel like it's time to take things back to our place we typically straight up ask, ‘want to go back to our place to keep chatting and get sexy?'

STEP 4:
have fun!

Live out those fantasies you as a couple have been thinking of. Discuss with your third any fantasies/expectations they are having. There is no set in stone things that need to occur during this experience...only what you and your partner have discussed with each other and your new playmate beforehand. Most importantly, have fun! Let yourself go and enjoy the experience.

STEP 5:
the not-too-awkward goodbye

Saying goodbye can be a little weird. If you’re a couple, keep in mind that there are two of you and one of them. Be conscious of each other and the third's feelings. At this point you can clearly communicate what expectations you all have moving forward.

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