How to Guide: to strap on sex

Strap on sex is for all sorts of couplings. This is advice from a married lesbian couple for couples looking to try strap on sex / pegging for the first time. Using a strap can be another fun way for people with vaginas to penetrate their partner regardless of the gender. Straight couples can try pegging where the woman wears the strap and analy penetrates the man. This can also be an option for couples dealing with erectile disfunction. There are also harnesses that strap to a thigh, chin, or other part of the body so you can wield a dick from any part on your body! How fun!

open up men!

Men, we want you to lose the stigma or shame behind being penetrated. If a man can get past that part they’ll soon realize it is super fun for both parties! Women can feel what it’s like to have something external between their legs and what it’s like to enter your partner hands free. It can also be sexually pleasurable for a woman to wear a strap. Not only is it an amazing visual to wear and watch yourself penetrate your partner but also your clit will continuously rub against the base of the dildo or toy, which can result in a great new way to orgasm! For the men, it’s a no brainer! Your gspot is in your ass and because of this, penetration can feel amazing!


find your toy

Choosing the tools is a big part of making sure you have a successful experience. First, the harness. You want to make sure you have a harness that is secure to your body, so it provides control. Early on we purchased an inexpensive strap online and when it arrived the straps were ELASTIC! Needless to say it did not stay in place or provide any control, that was a mistake. We learned quick and went to a cool sex positive/educational toy store called Good Vibrations. The sales woman was well versed in what works best for people and actually had us try on the strap over our pants to see which we liked most. Now we’re in the know and can buy online when we want a new one. For us, we like leather harnesses with buckle straps that can be adjusted. We also love the Spare Parts brand “Sasha and Tomboi” harnesses that are spandex and super easy to slip on and GO!  

Then the toy, there are endless options. You can go for a realistic dildo that looks life like, or a sparkly rainbow tool! The person being penetrated can help chose the size they feel comfortable with. We recommend having an array of shapes and sizes to be ready for whatever the mood brings. A lot of harnesses also have a small pocket allowing room for a bullet vibrator to be inserted to add some extra buzz for both parties. 

Finally, the lube. This is key!! You never want to skimp on the lube. It makes the whole process smoother. Don’t be afraid to reapply while playing.


practice makes perfect :)

It takes practice! Sometimes the strap pops out. If the person wearing the strap isn’t used to thrusting they will realize it can be pretty strenuous and they may need a break. (They’ll have a new found respect for  the top in their life!) Be prepared for some trial and error. Try different positions. Watch a good educational porn like Nina Hartley’s Guide to Strap on Sex where she demonstrates on men and women. If your partner is new to penetration try working with plugs and other toys manually before moving to the strap. 


Happy thrusting! ;)

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