Level 2 – Challenge 1: Start the Conversation

Talking about your sex life—even with your partner, someone you love and trust—can be hard.

This challenge is designed to help you navigate how to have a productive and meaningful conversation about your sex life with your partner, without having one (or both of you) shut down, get frustrated or feel like they’re the “problem” with your sex life.

It’s important to note, that at Cake we define sex as a “meaningful experience of pleasure.” And the truth is that it can look sooooo many different ways. This challenge is designed to help you have open and honest conversations about it all—from little touches of passion throughout the day to full on intercourse and everything in between. When you communicate with your partner effectively, all areas of your sex life can be improved. Enter “the talk” challenge.

The Challenge…This one is a two-parter:

Part 1: Ask your partner for 30 minutes to have a meaningful conversation about your sex life.

Part 2: Have the first 30-minute conversation about your sex life to discover if your partner would like to take the first step in improving your love life…by taking the #morefunsex challenge.

Tips for a successful challenge:

It’s all about framing ‘the talk’ as an opportunity to learn more about each other’s feelings and experiences. You can use the challenge itself as an opportunity to have the conversation. Try something like, “Hey, this brand Cake is having a more fun sex challenge. It sounds like something I’d want to try. Can we make time to talk about it?”  Don’t spring the conversation on them unawares—give your partner time and space to prepare for the talk.

Still a little nervous? We’re here to help! Creating the container to communicate with your partner about sex can be intense. Here’s how to have the actual conversation about your sex life.

• Come prepared: Don’t go into the conversation with no framework about what you want to discuss. A loose plan is just fine! And we recommend the plan simply be the #morefunsex challenge!
• Set the ground rules: What will you discuss and not discuss? How long will you talk? Phones allowed during the convo? Figure out what works for you and stick to it. This is a great opportunity to review the challenges and discuss which ones you want to try  and which ones you’re going to hold off on.
• No pressure: It’s not about airing your grievances about what happens (or doesn’t happen) in the bedroom. It’s about figuring it out together.
• Don’t change yourself to fit: It’s not about matching each other’s sex preferences or vibes. It’s about meeting each other and being willing to work towards something that satisfies you both.

Although the communication part can feel, well, like a lot, remember that the point of this whole thing is to have more fun! Keep it light and loving. You’ll do this—together.